ALL OUT OF JOINT

My knees bother me.

I mean, they are nice knees, not too knobby and not fat but they ache.  They hurt.  They grind when I walk up the stairs.  They grind so much, in fact, that lately I have taken to singing Will Smith's Switch every time I climb the stairs to JenneInk Global Headquarters just so I won't have to hear them.  I don't have to sing Switch in particular, but if you have to sing something why wouldn't you sing that song? 

First one in, last one out, my patella.

I've been asked a number of times by those closest to me to visit the doctor about my knees.  I refuse.  Simple really, I just don't think there will be anything that anyone can do.  I know it's sort of a dumb position what with all that medical science can do these days but ... that's my position.

Also, I don't want to have surgery.

I told my doctor this when I went to see her last month.  You're limping, she said.  I know, I said.  Why? she said.  My knees, I said.  Next thing I knew she was shoving a business card for a great orthopedist into my hand.  Call them, she said.  They're just old knees, I said.  Call them, she said. They won't find anything, I said.  Call them, she said.

I called yesterday.  I went today.  Turns out they DID find something.  Two somethings as a matter of fact.

One of the somethings they can't do anything about.

The other something needs surgery.

Comments

[Mr. Billfold]

I ain't talking no bone on bone action.
Oooooooooh car-ti-lage.
I guess you WOULD just stand there...
:S