DEEP THROAT, DEEP BUMMER

Well, there you have it....  Whos-his-toes is Deep Throat.  I’m so disappointed. 

There are so few really great mysteries in life.  In this day and age nearly everything can be examined, investigated, researched and have its own talk show.  Don’t know something?  Look it up on the internet.  Curious about a person?  Whowhere should be able to help.  Wanna grab a burger on the way to the big game?  Yahoo Local is your best bet.  Wonder if that headless boy really does want a million get well cards?  Truthorfiction.com will point you in the right direction.

I was 6 when Nixon resigned.  I was no Alex P. Keaton and didn’t watch the nightly news for breaking updates about the scandal that brought down a president. But I DO remember watching some special around the 10 year anniversary of Watergate about the secret identity of Deep Throat and after that, I was hooked.  I grew into adulthood wondering, Who is this man they call Deep Throat?

(A side note here:  there is a documentary out right now called “Inside Deep Throat”.  I was very excited when it came out.  I went to see it.  Um, it wasn’t about the Nixon administration – that’s all I’m saying.)

For those of you who don’t know (and are ashamed to ask), here is a short recap of the whole Deep Throat thing (the NIXON Deep Throat, not the other one).

In 1972 (I think, I’m going by memory here) there was a break in at the Watergate hotel.  I think it was an office complex too.  Anyway, it housed the democratic party re-election headquarters or something like that.

The investigation revealed that Nixon was at the very least aware of the break-in.

It was very scandalous.

Nixon resigned.

Oh, I forgot, the reporters who broke the story and revealed the dirty underbelly of it all were two fellows named Woodward and Bernstein.  They got much of their information from an inside informant.  THAT informant was code named Deep Throat.

They NEVER revealed who he was.  There was MUCH speculation – including a list of people it COULD be.  Everyone had a theory.  Still, no one knew for sure. 

Until now. 

Sure, I watched every special and I read books and I wondered, like the rest of us, who Deep Throat was.  But the truth of the matter is I liked not knowing.  I liked wondering.  I liked that only a handful of people knew for sure who DT was and they keep silent.  I like that someone, anyone, had a code name.  That’s just too cool. 

But now we know. 
He came out yesterday.
Woodward and Bernstein confirmed it.

Mark Felt is Deep Throat.

I guess I’ll just add this to my file of other disappointing discoveries:
Crop circles are made by men with ropes and boards.
Harry Houdini escaped through a hidden panel in the back of the locked trunk.
Dipping dots really AREN’T the ice cream of the future.

I feel like my childhood is slipping away.  Like I felt when I realized Santa Claus wasn’t real and the word “butt” wasn’t really a dirty word like my mom said.  Next thing you know, Marshall, Will and Holly will find a way home from the Land of the Lost.

Deep Throat’s real name is Mark. What a letdown.

At least I still have DB Cooper.

Comments

[beek]

DB Cooper - totally. Good one. Although, I still think it's Dick Simon...

[Jenne]

You think Deep Throat is Dick Simon?

[beek]

Funny. But I am bummed that Deep Throat isn't Diane Sawyer. I'm going to believe that it really is and this "big reveal" is just another ploy to throw Americans off the track. I'm not one to let facts get in the way...

[Wendy]

Dipping dots *aren't* the ice cream of the future?