I angered the computer gods.
Today I spent more than 12 hours trying to coax my computer back from the dead. I consulted all the manuals I ever shoved into The Drawer I Never Open and when that failed I performed every unholy ritual I could think of. I even butchered the English language once or twice trying to appease the electronic deities. This was after spending from noon yesterday until 1 a.m. this morning trying to convince my near-death companion to stop moving toward that bright glowing light at the end of the electronic tunnel. I was unsuccessful in both endeavors and finally had to put my computer out of our misery. I figuratively and literally pulled the plug by doing a system um … <insert something here that the computer tech said>. It sounded like “Bangkok” but I’m just sure that’s not what we did.
It was an interesting process, Bangkoking my own computer. Interesting because there came a point when total calm came over me. When I no longer worried if I had every image, email and keystroke I’ve ever composed saved. Instead I became resolved to that fact that I would lose some things. They were, in fact, already gone. It was a grief process. A good grief process – more Charlie Brown-ish like than I’d like to admit. The moment before I hit the required magic combination of keys dictated to me by someone named “Sam” to wipe my computer’s soul clean I stopped … I hovered, my fingers were shaking. Even Charlie Brown knows that Lucy will yank the football away at the last minute and he’ll end up flat on his softwares. But what can you do? I accepted it. I charged ahead, got my foot ready for the inevitable and my back(up) ready for the splat. And then I took a deep breath and said, much too loudly, Here I go “Sam”! Half expecting him to stop me. And he said, Okay very good, because really, what does he care if my entire history is erased? He does this all the time. He’s the Kevorkian of hard drives, that “Sam”.
I’m teaching two or three different groups this week about emotional intelligence. There are lots of aspects to emotional intelligence. All of those aspects center around identifying, applying and managing your emotions. One specific component of EI that I’ll be talking about is regulating your emotional responses. I do find it ironic I would be teaching such a thing since five hours ago if Bill Gates had walked through my office door I would have quickly and in quite an emotionless way punched that bastard as hard as I possibly could in the glasses. And then I would applied my knee quite regularly to his crotch.