I have a number of pet peeves. A lot of them have to do with quirky little sayings people have that bug me. “Cold enough for ya?” would be a good example of this. Or my all time favorite heard ‘round the holidays, “See you next year!” You understand what I’m getting at.
My mom has a little saying that really drives me nuts, “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Now I know it doesn’t seem that bad, but it is rarely, if ever, used when she actually has NEVER heard of such a thing. What I’m saying is that I think it is an overstatement. A spoon can’t be found and “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” The movie rental place charges a high late fee and “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” The car gets stolen and taken for a joy ride and, you guessed it “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
Now, really? You’ve NEVER heard of a spoon being misplaced? You’ve NEVER encountered a late fee before? And is this TRULY the first time the thought of hoodlums stealing an auto for meaningless purposes has entered your mind?
Of course not.
She’s not the only one. Listen for it; you’ll hear it a lot. Just the other day I heard someone in one of my classes exclaim this phrase when TWO markers were dry and unable to write on the white board. She had never heard of such a thing. Sheltered dear.
In fact, after I heard her exclaim her shock loudly I made the claim – silently of course – that that phrase really never does apply.
Today I read this story about toads in Germany that are exploding without reason. That’s right. Exploding. Some theories are given as to why this is happening but no one really knows. They just swell up and BOOM. Frog guts everywhere. Local veterinarian Otto Horst is interviewed for the article. Guess what he says?
"I have never seen such a thing,"
Well, Ot, I’m going to give you that one. And I stand corrected.